By far little JD is my biggest Long position in schedule.

1) Does this reveal that I am acting afraid of under performing as a parent?

I think I might, as everybody else would be. There are two ways of facing fear: avoiding it or facing it. Then the residual question is:

2) Is there a risk of over trying? Will I under perform by trying too hard?

The balanced man of all, Christ, might be a good criteria.

Chart source: http://www.economist.com/news/united-states/21608779-there-large-class-divide-how-americans-raise-their-children-rich-parents-can